Occasionally, I find myself having friends whom it would be easier to describe as fans. One or two of them have been so impressed by the half-dazed nonsense I say that they have immediately written it down for later. They seem to think I'm funny, or something. Typically, I later have no recollection of saying them. Anyway, here are some of my favourites:
- I'm not an actor, I'm a real person.
- Spats are pretty cool. Everyone knows that, because... [trails off]
- German marzipan... Nazipan?

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